"I understand your pain." - Learn to be more empathetic

Learn to be more empathetic

A story that happened.

A guy in Germany told me that he had made acquaintance with a woman.
They were together on a date. And suddenly she started telling him about the losses in her family.
Some people had died, also her father.

The guy said:

"I understand your pain."

The woman got angry and shouted at him:

"I know how to handle my pain! Keep out of my private stuff, ok?"

He was completely clueless what had gone wrong.

Even a slight tweak might have driven that conversation differently at that point.
Just imagine to put yourself into the woman's shoes.

How would this make you feel if someone you know only a little comes up to you and states:

"Yeah I understand your pain"

You might think like:

How can this person understand?
Why is he saying that?
Did he even listen?
Did he even try to understand?

Very little things can put a conversation down to the direction down the drain.
And it's gone.

So I can provide you with the advice to clearly observe your communications and find all the reasons why it stopped. Take responsibility and find out.

In this case just a little bit of empathy is missing.

Learn how to be more empathetic.

Don't just say you understand.
Say rather you don't or explain how you can relate to it.